Here I sit, swaddled by a green
Lay-z-boy, tears falling. And I’m not
really sure why. I cannot verbalize any one emotion to describe the torrent
that presses in. Two boys in bed,
animals tended, dishwasher pulsing in the background… I should find solace in
this quiet house. Instead, I close my
eyes, allowing the grasp of fatigue to take hold. So many changes. So many battles. So many questions.
Are they really ready to fly?
M-----,
no longer a little girl,
Preens
her feathers,
Soaring
from my nest, too soon.
H----, a little girl hidden,
Evades
time and space,
Free falling from my nest, too soon.
Too
soon, too soon!
Where
will you shelter in the rain?
Will
you find nourishment as the world surrounds you?
From
my nest I will wait.
A tired mother, hoping for your future,
Wondering
why the years have gone, too soon.
Yes, these are the changes you knew were coming. But it doesn't make it any easier to get through. But, even though they leave, they come back. And that's special.
ReplyDeleteI remember so well these same emotions cascading over me when Scott became engaged. I thought there is still so much I haven't taught him. Our lives are passages and each new passage brings joy and tears. It's part of being a mom.
ReplyDeleteThere's definitely a delicate balance between holding on and letting go... I'm a pro at the "holding on" part!
ReplyDelete